Remember playing in the pool in summer?
You’d close your eyes and have to find the others
So much fun… paired with ESC!
So when I heard that someone was in Venice
I thought, “That’s perfect! Surely this will make his day!” So…
Marco Mengoni in a Lido resort, the full five stars
Found him poolside, watched him get in and I knew the fun could start
When I jumped in he fell off his blow-up unicorn
“You are Marco, I will be Polo!” Know what he did? He swore!
I soon found out how he responds to ‘threats’ – he
insisted that he’d call carabinieri!
Time to leave! I mean Italy
Decided I should cross the nearest border
And try again. I hoped that I’d have more fun there. So…
Eva Boto, in Novo Mesto, alone on a towpath
One would think that, given the setting, she’d know how to swim, but
When I pushed her in the river? Couldn’t even float!
To my “Marco…?” there came no “Polo” as she just flailed and choked
Sopping-wet Eva spewed, “How I despise you!” Time to go!
Head south? Not sure how far. You never know what you’ll find on the road…
Damir Kedžo sprawled on a lilo, relaxing in Zadar
That’s until I give him a push and he ends up out quite far!
It’s quite windy, so I wonder just how far he’ll go
Who knows? I hope Italy’s coastguards will find him from their boats…
I’ve a heavy load
It’s rainy and I’m cold
Business is a crime
We hardly get a dime
This hill will never end
The distances they send
Minimal, they say…
The wheels of aching pain… Aaagghhh…
My limbs failing,
With these orders weighing
Dodging cars colliding
Death beware!
So unaware I’m gonna fall
They won’t get anything at all!
You think it’s easy-clicking food?
Yet guys like me Deliveroo
Riding the wrong way down a lane
With two flat tyres, it’s insane!
You think your order’s coming soon?
Yet guys like me Deliveroo
Bewildered, I check now…
My bag is too full!
I’ve got a whole load of cans,
A bucket of wings,
An olive baguette!
Silence straining,
And the strange design means
It has torn the lining of my bag!
I’m chock-a-block, I’m going to fail
I’m riding slower than a snail!
You swipe, you wait, you want your food?
Yet guys like me Deliveroo!
Probably fired, I left at eight
I’m gonna be a little… late…
You pay your fee to get it chewed
Yet guys like me Deliveroo
**CRASH**
**SIRENS**
With splatted hair, covered in mud
Sirens blaring, so much blood
In shock despair I check my wound
Yeah, guys like me Deliveroo
Oh please don’t stare, it’s just a sprain
I’ll cycle through it, won’t complain
Make way, back off and let me through
Yeah guys like me Deliveroo
All is fair in love and grub! ooohhh…
Yeah, a low fare’s still a job!
So guys like me Deliveroo
Based on
Sweden 2000 / Switzerland 2004 / United Kingdom 1985 / Turkey 1980 / Finland 2002
æonian [iːˈəʊnɪən]; adjective
Lasting for an immeasurably or indefinitely long period of time
Synonyms: Eskerian, Sebastianian
Esker here. This is the 2nd ever use of the inverted footnote in ALC. If you missed the first one, well as Sigga&Sigrún once said: go on and follow this link. Being your Queen of Cowgirls, nay power bottom of ALC, I was particularly pleased to see my two-time sparring partner take the victory in 2023. That said, in the afterglow, Sebastian has become quite precious, even diva-ish, since his win.
Esker: No thanks, it reeks of Worcestershire sauce! Anyway, we had hoped to co-write again some day to complete our trilogy. But life – and death – got in the way as it often does. Following our respective victories last year, I suggested we write a potential opening ceremony AL, which Andy graciously accepted. Sebastian’s rider for co-writing was extensive. In fact, more gifts than your average Pep Guardiola mega-fan would proffer. He laughed at my dong, spurned alcohol, rejected haute-couture apparel and scoffed at some holiday vouchers. I traipsedtrudged trekked through the internet: Only when I bought him this snow globe did he confirm participation. To each his own.
Sebastian’s Review Editor, Corinna, urged us to “come together, right now, in sweet harmony.” Even though I think she had something ruder in mind, we concur:
It is our hope to inspire future Winner & Cowgirl co-creations.
Of course, as you all know, writing an AL isn’t always straightforward…
Sebastian: So we wrote a lyric about that! We felt it was important to show how even the best writers, and Esker, still get stuck sometimes.
Sebastian: He also insisted we come dressed in spectacular Eurovision outfits. An hour ago. So I chose Piero (sans Music Stars), since I already had a pink shirt, and had to rush to the bus stop to catch the limo Esker sent for me. I’m not a happy bunny…
Esker: He’s just jealous that I’m attired as Roger Pontare circa 13th May 2000.
Sebastian: Aww. I thought you were Dustin the Turkey. 🙁
