Based on France 2023
La Zarra — Évidemment

In Québec, Canada, I was the queen of the chanson
By air, travelled, to sing (très bien)
Jubilee of Céline's great win,

Felt like I'd been drinking strong liqueur
And something strange was starting to occur,
Always bloated and in a bad mood
‎‏Then to my horror the doctor said...

"Don't eat croissants"
J'suis sans les sandwichs de jambon et cornichon
Nor macarons,
Cause I've been feeling lethargy,
I'm unhappy

So if there's dough, oh, that's how it's made,
Then it will be too glutinous for me,
No more brioche,
With marmalade or jam again,
How unpleasant!

So from my diet, I've given up,
Couronnes et tarte tatin,
Je cherche l'amour, je n'trouve rien
Comme dans mon sac du pain

I have never been nonchalant,
With others I can't reach a state of détente,
I'd made a clear hotel demand,
‎‏But to my terror the cleaners said...

"What you don't want,
Is to turn the pillows over, because there's blood"
What an affront!
I wasn't treated like mother, more a weird aunt

But I won't stop,
These ordeals will be worth it when I've won,
I'm sat in the green room, it's nearly done
"Votes for France"
I'm sure the public love me - time for Graham to read out my score...


You know what, fuck this, you have no taste
I don't understand, why you all hate me

This misery all started with the time I ate
That damn croissant!