Based on Ireland 1999 The Mullans — When You Need Me
So, love is never easy
But being lonely's worse
I got back in the game
For a man who I could tame
Then, online, I found him
A sexy slavic man
Could just sit there on that face
And I had a master plan
And there he was, my knight, and so much more
But then his smile vanished in the door
"Libe no! Dear God no!
Special girl for me, don't you know??
Libe dear, listen here
Scented candles, libe dear
They're my peeve
You should've known
нос е крив..."
Fast I quenched the candles
Felt so stupid too
But then when I apologized
His eyes showed love enough for two
They say the way to seduce
The hearts of hunky men
Is to conquer their tastebuds
For this stud I cooked lots
"Libe no! Ew yuck NO!
Special girl for me, don't you know??
Libe dear, listen here
Coriander, libe dear
That's my peeve
Гнусно!"
With nothing left to loose, I dragged him in
Bared my cheeks, to plant him in-between
"Libe no! Libe NO!!!
Special girl for me, don't you know??
Libe dear, listen here
Squeaky bedframes, libe dear
They're my peeve"
Dear Dobromir
You're my peeve
Based on Germany 1982 Nicole — Ein bißchen Frieden
With baby blue eyes and gold-coloured curls
A radiant smile and teeth whiter than pearls
Natural makeup, a black and white dress
The dark truth you'd never guess
Her sweet appearance is all but sincere,
inspired by Siegel, the great puppeteer,
If you listen closely, it's all crystal clear
Her message spreads hate and fear
I spit on children, I spit with gusto I cough and rattle, it's almost ammo To spit on children is up-and-coming It is rewarding, so join the team
I'm scaring children, I make them suffer I'm pulling pranks on the little fuckers To scare the children while they were sleeping enhanced my feeling of ecstasy!
Resembling an angel, she almost looks real
A voice that can comfort, a smile you could steal
But she has no shadow, her thumb leaves no print
She's payback for our sins
I swear at children, they're so annoying I call them names and walk past them groaning To swear at children is so fulfilling My favorite hobby, it brings me joy
I'm teasing children, those little critters They should be grateful that I don't hit them Harassing children is an obsession Yet torture is still one step too far
(She scares our children, she makes them suffer) Spit with me, you'll feel complete
(So parents please take them undercover)
(She pranks our children, bad sense of humour) Scrape your throat and spit excrete
(We fiercely wish that she'd disappear)
(She swears at children, her anger's boiling) Spit with me, it feels so sweet
(Our actions so far were disappointing)
(She spits on children, let's poke her eyes out) Such a treat, spit and repeat
(Let's strike her head with that white guitar)
Based on Belgium 1969
Louis Neefs — Jennifer Jennings
London streets lacked special fashion in their shops
Just endless rows of boring tops, then one May
A French King gave a new venture a dry run
Reselling clothing from '01, ready to buy
His first display: Erica Jennings
Billowing sleeves, pants with glittery thighs
A smash! Earnings unending
This shop gave Bilal Hassani a way
To pay for his musée
Feeling brave, he coupled Swedish pleather tat
With Vanna’s backing singer’s hat:
Crowds all raved
Nuša D’s S&M wasp décolleté
Paired with a Polish coat of hair
And Nino’s shades
Soon Dutch Michelle’s breathable leggings
Were gracing catwalks from Linz to Lusail
Jumpsuits at every wedding
Yet there’s a sad end to this couture tale:
Bilal went bust, recklessly spending
Procuring stock that nobody would buy
Skamp wigs, no longer trending
For Lindsay’s tracksuits, no takers today
No way
Based on Austria 1968 Karel Gott — Tausend Fenster
Barbecue downstairs, it smells divine
They call my name, but I must decline
My neighbours don't know why
They must think I'm cross, or impolite
Hear my upstairs neighbours torture me
Their sweet young girl dribbling like Kareem
I can't request she'd quit
Cannot ring their bell, door's out of reach
For I'm house-arrested, electronic ankle tag
In a flat that's facing north in Plzeň 1
I just wanted velvet padding for my comfy chair
Now for two years haven't seen the sun
Quality's a must, though hard to find
No junk from Wish, only Czech design
But velvet.cz
Had no prime grade trim, nude girls instead
North Korean bots sneaked in from there
Then unbeknownst, I spread ransomware
Next, SWAT in evening time
Cuff me scared and knelt, suspect of crime
Since then, house-arrested, living hell without a charge
And my tag won't let me doze, it beeps all night
I'd find prison better, least there's human action there
It feels truly Kafka wrote my life
Rain taps on the window.
Poor Alice stares in dread.
The tea's gone cold, the Queen is mad
’Cos Tweedledum has been found dead.
A knock then shatters the silence.
Who dares to enter now?
It’s Tweedledee, with bloody hands,
And guilt etched on his brow.
Oh! Tweedledee has just killed Tweedledum.
And Mirrorland is in a state of crisis.
Fraternal feud, a toy-time quarrel
Descended into brotherly war.
An evil deed that shook the world to its core.
A tragedy that sent the chessboard manic.
And if the old Red King should awake,
The world will disappear.
While Alice grips her teacup,
She sips with trembling grace.
She’s seen a knight fall off his horse,
But murder is a brand new case.
She asks, “Was it with the rattle?”
‘Dee nods and starts to sob:
“I only meant to twat him once. But then I couldn't stop.”
Oh! Tweedledee has just killed Tweedledum,
And Mirrorland is in a state of crisis!
‘Dee spilled the beans, a full confession,
He's facing the full weight of the law!
Humpty Dumpty threw himself off the wall,
He’s now just shell and yolk, it’s oh-so tragic.
And if the old Red King should awake,
The world will disappear.
She peers more closely, carefully spying,
It appears all is not as it seems.
The twin sat right before her is lying...
He swapped their collars. Dastardly scheme!
Poor Tweedledee!!!!
The perpetrator was in fact Tweedledum.
And Mirrorland is on the brink of cracking.
A stolen name, a grand deception.
The whole world’s heading for its downfall.
The White Queen shrieks, she can't take any more!
She's now a sheep and runs away. Sheer panic!
Because the old Red King starts to wake,
The dream now disappears!
I left today the castle
That I own in Basel
It's falling down, a wreck in town
But a sign of prestige
I put my new blue dress on
And I attach a ribbon
Looks like Gaultier but I sewed it myself
Can’t wear clothes off-the-shelf
Because others' perception
Of my perfection, is my yearn to go on
Posh entails having, on the beach, a cabin
While struggling to pay, for your small flat, the rent
Posh means spending, in Rome, every weekend
Money I can’t dispend
Posh involves driving a new Aston Martin
Bought it ninth-hand, can't even fill the fuel tank
That’s what posh means
See this chair I brought here
I bought it cheap last year
Told it's antique, that sounds so chic
Producers bit the bait
Cause it's the way that you sell
Yourself as well as the narrative you tell
Posh entails dancing as if you were fencing
Left hand on the dress, I just can't make a mess
Posh’s wearing jewels, so massive and flashy
That are cheap and trashy
Posh is the make-up that makes you a pin-up
And enough hairspray to pollute the whole Poole Bay
That’s what posh is
Posh is the feeling that you're a top being
Don't care for the rest, can treat them like a pest
Posh's ostentation, buy people's affection
To feel complete and whole
Posh is pretending, it’s bluffing and feigning
A strategy to mask one's insecurities
That’s what (that’s what) that’s what posh is
Based on Denmark 1997 Kølig Kaj — Stemmen i mit liv
Thy heir speaking Hail, lord! What, ‘Hey lot’? Drop that And start saying ‘you’! That I would rue… As ever, easy n clear… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ * Pedantic laughter *
Files notwithstanding His having sired me sounds Just implausible (What’s she on?)
Our first daughter struck us deep From the time she came to be Love her dearly, but she’s A bit too Lisa-esque if you ask me So raising someone This nitpicking was hard work It felt we were haunted By so many quirks
Was writing at two And would blabber like a grown-up First words: ‘I object’, and Rarer terms would show up Doctors said she hadn’t Picked up plain wordings She spoke “Legalise” Which we found truly disturbing
Once put in that position We tried to find a flip side Used her monstrous knowledge To become ourselves such brill minds! ‘Haddock’, ‘Ex gratious’ ‘Enter alien’, ‘Juice’ ‘Pro radar’ – You name it Braggarts, as peeps frame it…
Were there failed duties Right at yours truly’s birth? (Brr!) Hospitals = haywire Should have seen it with your eyes… In careless instants They kidnap infants – Worth (Worse!) Filing an inquire Some are maimed! Or even sliced! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ * Rushes to call the Health Department *
Then her teenage years arrived And we were in for a massive treat… Hate of difference meant she got Abused by bullies on repeat We figured She could take fighting classes Wicked folks had it coming: She’d smash their asses!
Well, surprise! Turned it down Said she was a self-declared Peacifist: she cared For a world that’s “just n fair”… That is bullshit Cos men are evil and savage * Desperate dialling * I mean, who wouldn’t want to Have their bones ravaged?
And while we’d watch footy She loved to study, she loved to read She loved her puzzles She loved her crosswords, she loved her tweets And that’s when she kept starting To pursue any cause As stupid as wanting To repel border laws
And now we’re aghost She’ so ill-behaved We find her thankless as fuck With the efforts we gave… We did have a hunch As she wailed when she was born: We feared our clan Might get people’s scorn
Health’s chief responded (Well…) Not what I wanted, though (Whoa!) They deem all files right Tryna turn your back on us?! Since their procedures (And?) And clinic features were (Er…) All abided by Wanna make less of a fuss?
One day Came up through our doorway Ditched her telephone To her room we went This time she wasn’t suing! Probs had things brewing… Hear out, forebear… Now what crap’s she spewing?
Tell me what happened… Who did… I followed thee (No…) Took spit from off the pavement (Yikes!) Sent a sample DNA’ll be known soon No need for that…
The test did not lie (Yeah!) So stunned I got thy blood (Bud!) Genes conduct like mad You were worrying in vain For out of millions (What?) Of traits, one’s brilliance (Cut…) Seems to dodge “bro dads” You nerd, shut your classist brain!
