Bake Off

Based on Portugal 1982
Doce — Bem bom

Bake! Bake! Bake! Bake!

Wakey, wakey, wakey, eggs, eggs, eggs and bakey
Flour up your fingers, stop your hands from shaking
Surely you have heard the winner really bakes it all?
Some say it's the greatest hobby, but it makes my brain go foggy
How the hell do you get lady fingers soggy?

Ready set and bake, hey, Bake Off
Do you like my cakes, Bake Off
They are fluff and moist, hey, Bake Off
Taste them and rejoice! Bake Off
Butter up my bowl, hey, Bake Off
Eat the donut hole, Bake Off
Go ganache your buns, hey, Bake Off
Activate your tongues, Bake Off
Innuendo, saucy pun
Served up straight outta the oven, hon
Bake Off

Hearing the clock tick, you know it's all or muffin
Better check the pastry, give it a good stuffing
Do make sure it all makes for a proper forking
Careful cause Paul gets solemn, doesn't want a soggy bottom
When he goes and takes a dive in your Pavlova

Must give it a try, hey, Bake Off
Munch the mincey pie, Bake Off
Busy with your baps? Hey, Bake Off
Give them proper snaps, Bake Off
Lick a spotted dick, hey, Bake Off
It is worth the whisk, Bake Off
Underbaked or raw, hey, Bake Off
Not for this croissant, Bake Off
If you want a saucy pun
There is only one show for you, hon!

Playing with your dough, hey, Bake Off
Conjure a gateau, Bake Off
Fill it up with cream, hey, Bake Off
Dripping at the seams, Bake Off
Add a spot of booze, hey, Bake Off
Croque it in your bouche, Bake Off
Biscuits are erect, hey, Bake Off
Now present your cracks, Bake Off
Innuendo, saucy puns
Sue and Mel, forever number ones
Bake Off, hey!