Based on Belgium 2008
Ishtar — O julissi
Lia Nici lost in Grimsby
Lib Dem gains in Frome and Eastleigh
And Scunthorpe jilted Holly Mumby
Ben Fletcher fell short in Crewe
They let rivers fill with brown poop
So the voters pooped on Mag Throup
Poor Ranil Jayawardena
Now has to find a new job too
In Devon, Iain Liddell-Grainger (Minehead said "Nah!")
And northern Norfolk, Duncan Baker (locals said "Blah!")
Andrea Jenkyns, Heather Wheeler (we don't want ya)
A.N.M.E. went S.N.P.
Foodbank-lover Sheryll Murray
Lord and Richardson in Surrey
And folk in Mansfield gave Ben Bradley
A middle-finger adieu
Jack Lopresti, Andrew Selous
Darren Henry, Peter Aldous
Sorrow for Maria Miller
Grant Shapps was dumped for someone new
Liz Truss's loss filled us with laughter (hah hah hah hah)
Enormous swing from Con to Labour (biggest ever)
The iceberg lettuce leaves outlast her (more fresh by far)
Mercer: yippee!! Brought to his knees
Rehman Chishti lost quite clearly
Rees-Mogg: Brexit cost him dearly
And down in Hitchin, Afolami
Jon Gullis really got screwed
Turnip-eater Thérèse Coffey:
OnlyFans now beckons 'cos she
Has lost her income as an M.P.
She'll strip with Mordaunt for a fee
Years of Tory horror…
Foolish Kwasi cost us money
D-Day: Rishi went home early
Bad Boris hosted Covid parties
Neil Parish: tractor abuse
Downing Street now home of Keir, Reeves
Angie Rayner on Bacardi
But if you let us down severely
We're gonna get rid of you