Charity Worker

Based on Portugal 2008
Vânia Fernandes  — Senhora do mar (Negras águas)

“Save Orangutans”
Empty words (with vague disclaimers)…
On the main drag, aiming for people with cash
Desperate, and in my hands is a clipboard
It’s for charity

Soon it’s apparent
Obvious, seems you’re all so suspicious
Shamelessly mad, I see this could fail..
On my heart, you must believe me!
I’ve a card machine

I read in a mag, it’s
Borneo and Sumatra
Where the last of these “baboons” survive

We won't give a dime
And what's more, Don't you know, without dough
We think you're a sham! They'll all die!
Aren't you aware, even now,
They're so rare!

So fill up my jar !
*shakes jar, enticingly*

“Penguins Will Die”
My other big, pavement dosh
There it sits, seducing crowds of my victims
A cute bird plushie

I read that by August,
All of the male ones
Swim out in the cold and die

Oh surely you lie!
Without a sound
Yeah, they just drown
This is so fowl!
Not allowed! They try to swim to ground
Shut this bitch down!
But they die out at sea!
We get it, we get it, call the police!

I made this up, yes!
All this rubbish
Don’t care that it’s just all a lie!

Secure her arms tight!
Her legs, her head, hold her down! Oh let me go, I've got things to buy!
Take this disgusting woman away! Stealing earns me a trip to Dubai

And soon a ... new car!
Get the feathers and tar!