Based on Portugal 2022
Maro — saudade, saudade

Three years ago,
weird thoughts got in my head, and
didn’t know how to get rid of them.
They paved their way,
seemed like they’re here to stay, they
made me check if I had locked the door.

Gettin’ harder, gettin’ harder.
People all around me say
Everything will be okay.
Gettin’ harder, gettin’ harder.
Feeling I’m alone in this
Maze that’s spread inside my head.

(Internal dialogue)
-Did you forget to close the window?
-Please I don’t wanna be a weirdo!

I’m drowning inside my subego.
Don’t know how to fight this vertígo.
Seems like I need help.
I did not foresee,
Clear the bushes, heal the tree.

Get the work done, long way to run.
Face the fear that’s in my head,
Searching what has been unread.
How to cope with, making progress.
Have better and harder days.
Find the pathways out the maze.

Nothing more that I can say
Says it in a better way.

Reca -lling now
I see how much I’ve grown
This was my way outside the maze.

Based on Croatia 2022
Mia Dimšić — Guilty Pleasure

Drew within the lines when I was a young kid
In auctions on eBay I’m always outbid

Too risk-averse to cycle, never liked George Michael (I preferred Andrew Ridgeley)
I get palpitations drinking caffeinated tea

By the standards others use to measure
Things that I enjoy are simple pleasures
Maybe I’ll find that people adore me if I stop being so boring

Feel my reservations set me apart
In a world of line graphs I’m a bar chart
It would be rather romantic if someone swept me away

But please not today, I’ve got ironing to do
Must clean the bidet… can this love just wait?

Met him at the till at a furniture store
I gave him wood when he asked to scan my drawers

Six foot two with glasses, hair dark like molasses
Don’t know what he saw in me
Feel appreciated when I’m in his company

This year we’ve done things I’d never dreamed of
We won big at a Vegas casino
Kidnapped a pet snake in the Spring Mountains
Fell in the Bellagio fountain

At the end of it I feel exhausted
Didn’t want to do all that – he forced it
How could I begin to tell him that I’d like us to part ways?

Is it a mistake?
	Why'd you run away?
Is this the way to live life?
Are the things I hate
	What about our snake?
Those that others crave?
	Please don't leave today
Told him I had to slow down
Shared our belongings, half each way
	Moitié, moitié
Feel bad for the snake 'cause we used a sharp knife…

Six months on and I’m no longer tired
Hibernation is what I required
Sometimes I get lonely now I know things are no easier on your own

I’d still like someone to spend my days with
Can’t help feeling that I’m just like a sieve
Trying to catch love but it slips away
So I call him and say, say, say

Can we meet again?
	You mean for a date?
Maybe just for a quick drink,
At mine you could stay
	You're sure that's OK?
But make no mistake
	Can I come today?
It will be different this time
	Wish you had just said to me
In my comfort zone I will stay
	Love you either way
And this time I'll choose the pets
	What do you suggest?
Maybe just mice?
	*sigh*

Based on Slovenia 2002
Sestre — Samo ljubezen

Not many beauties in Tallinn
Like picking scraps out from the bin
From the gay bar
To gaydar.ee

We got good dick pics from some Greeks
Then saw their faces… they’ve got beaks

Cyrano thanks
Won’t give the password to our cheeks

It must be ugly week
In Tallinn’s nightclubs
What happened to all the sexy men?
Was Dave Benton not free
To cum on everybody?
We'd even take Tanel, it’s that bleak

Why not this one? Hey daddy!

Don’t waste your time hun, he likes shit

Some twat asked if we’re “really chicks”
Then sent a picture sucking dick

Asked “u sisters?”
Blocked him instantly

Russians round here look like pugs

Tragic → weird → eww → what the fuck?!

Ugly cocks too
The blond’s hung like a mouse

This Lithuanian
Looks happy naked

Shame his pics have all got that beret
We would’ve had his seed
But he’s just here to buy weed
Told him to piss off and try Sarit

Woahhh!!!
Look who’s fresh on the scene!!!
Manuel Ortega!!! (Hoorayga!!!)

Begs don’t say a word, he’s not out yet
He came here for TV (he’s packing more meat than a wurst factory!)
He’s a big fan of us three
Told him come and get some new CDs

Finally some decent

Based on San Marino 2024
Megara — 11:11

[indistinct telephone call from Gary to Ryan O'Shaughnessy]

Gary's fallen on hard times
Once a true great Irish hope
Now crushed by high-risk loans
Called his nephew and proposed
They should get together and
form a crew

It seems Gary had an idea to propose
Cos bad times call for desperate measures
For him to repay what he owed
To the sharks - and in full
To achieve, he would need eleven

He came up with a plot, forming a posse
To find riches to purloin
They'd break into the home of a rival
While he was performing in Malmö (mö mö)

J-O-H-N-N-Y L-O-G-A-N
He's got two contest winners
and one more as a writer

Each one had their unique role
Financing the outfit: Brooke Scullion
Logistics handled by Red Hurley
Colm CT Wilkinson
He was born to handle comms
Blueprints entrusted to
safe hands of Lesley Roy

And on the cable drop? Course it was Jedward
Going down as the big one
They roped in Linda M, as the muscle
Niamh to get them past the pupil scan

All successful heists (including this one)
Need an inside man
To be more precise Bambie was
their inside they/them

Despite their planning
There was a shock

[dramatic slomo action sequence]

Lesley mixed up the maps - story of her life
Linda Martin got too drunk
And Jedward's hair set off all the lasers
Red - he got the wrong day
Then Bambie changed their tune - and they warned Logan
Niamh had no box to stand on
And Colm began to sing - to enforcement
Brendan forgot the escape balloon

J-O-H-N-N-Y L-O-G-A-N
They're held now by the Garda
But there's always a sequel

Based on Hungary 2018
AWS — Viszlát nyár

So you think you write like Dickens
Just because your lyrics contain
A zillion showy, deep terms

You may speak eloquently – won’t care
Still, we’re sorry to bring you disillusionment
These whole words are a big chicken shit

We just can’t with your pedantry
We’re tired of looking up every weird term
That’s in your texts

It’s just ungood, such impenetrable mess
Plus your longest word is our shortest
Kiss it, then – Magyars win

Straight fact: You’ll never deserve our pity
Tumultuous my ass
Such easy life, you hipster

Stayed in India, didn’t cost peanuts
We’re just eager to see you’re underpaid again
Want you broke, homeless, nearing your death

We just can’t with your vanity
You love to call out your exes on that
You “pious” bitch

We can’t stand your intellectuality
How can you have the nerve, when you don’t
Understand irony?
Don’t you think?

Miss Smug
Miss Dumb
Miss Dull

(We dislike you since ‘96)
(You Oughta Know was all nifty, and then)
(No slaying hits)

(We can’t stand) Eat my wang
(Your indignities) Suck my massive dick
(We doubt your Jekyll and Hydeness is liked)
It makes you stink

(We despise you) Piss off, get fucked
(That’s our unabashed threat – flee) Banged by a steed
(Or your feared adversarial force)
(Might meet you on the street) We’ll beat your head off

Miss Cunt

Based on Denmark 1989
Birthe Kjær — Vi maler byen rød

Sat at this desk forever
Since a year that I forgot
Recent times have been hard as
My boss is quite the twat

The glam that he once promised
Never quite got off the ground
Criminal, that wage
Thus making the most of my final day

I cancel meetings
And instead enjoy a seat massage
They better not expect
An extra this or that
Deleting emails
Eat pretzels on the windowsill

And when the clock strikes five
It’s time to celebrate
Retirement

Exciting, yet unsettling thought
I soon will not be here
My coworkers: cold and awful
Still loneliness I fear

Was offered a new contract
A part-timer, if you will
Turned it down
No more days in hell
I would rather serve time in jail

I flip the tables
And then rearrange the keyboard keys
Lift all men’s toilet lids
To apply saran wrap
I hand out fake awards
“Dressed” and “Lame Ass Hypocrite”

And when the clock strikes five
It’s time to celebrate
Retirement

Feel the end getting nearer
Freedom is waiting for me
Cutting all ties with submission
No more ‘do as I say’
(She can do all that she wants)

My hands are eager
Move my furniture
And paint the walls
Might find the needed time
To sew curtains in red
It is like night and day
Hack to independent me

And as the clock strikes five
It’s time to celebrate
Yeah, now the clock strikes five
I’m turning off the lights
And shout goodbye

Based on Belgium 1996
Lisa del Bo — Liefde is een kaartspel

- ACT 1 -
Can’t believe that he is late
It’s only our second date
I start with a water
Ready for the slaughter
Order a slice of cake

Though I know that what I feel is wrong
I still think about him all day long
I vow that now we do it
And finally get to it
He walks in and I’m cured

He sits down and looks well
Gets Coke Light and oat milk
Weird combo but great smell
Clean-shaven; I crave him
Being in his love cell
My privates displaying…
He refuses to dwell
Within moments I cry!

- ACT 2 -
Everyone wants me to die
Jury thought I should comply
With my time in prison
Thought I had arisen
Why won’t this man subside?

I keep trying to string him along
But he keeps repeating the same song
I killed people with success
So my probation’s endless
He says I must mature

We’ve just hit a dry spell
I’m joking, provoking
Fearing he might soon yell
I cave and behave good
He wants me to get well
And adds we’re not dating
But I know I excel
At getting what I want!

- ACT 3 -
Something quick, something sick
Soon enough Officer’s servitude supersedes
I’m the belle, doubts dispel
Next, we’re on the move

In a fancy hotel
I smoke and then choke him
Get room service as well
He’s paying, just laying
Someone rings the doorbell
The cops come and tase me
It’s time to say farewell
To good old liberty!

Based on Belgium 1981
Emly Starr — Samson

In sixty-eight Eurovisions
There’s been many a top tier song
But there’s only one all-time winner
So let's reveal it now

Ooh… Waterloo? Arcade? Theater?
No? Ooh… Ka’ du se hva’ jeg sa even?

Samson
Yes that might surprise you. Thought it might be Shiru?
You’re wrong
It won the Belgian final. Dropped the “en Delilah”
That one

You might think I have lost my marbles
I sense a somewhat raised eyebrow
The hair was an abomination
And she squats like a man

Ooh... but you know all is forgiven
Soo-oo-oothed... by the sight of massive feathers

Samson
Fuck Hemel en Aarde. Emly Starr hits harder
Samson
The verse gives me a hard-on. Chorus a paragon
She wore cheap white misfitting drapes

Emily with no ‘i’ (elusive charm)
And two ‘r’s in star
Marie-Christine Mareels (elusive charm)
Spelt everything wrong

Ooh... Playback instantly forgotten
Ooh ooh... Look pulsating Egyptian cotton!

Samson
Giuseppe Marchese doing the arranging
Samson
At first I thought she was in drag
Sashay away

Samson, I love you
Sаmѕon

Based on Iceland 2022
Systur — Með hækkandi sól

Our trio’s tale is very sour
Three damsels conjoined in sulking sorrow
Times are harder when you’re thrice
No getting laid or peace and quiet
Fate sealed

No such gift as private showers
Solo singing? Not for this choir…
Throw out the “roommates”, splitting up
Also not an option…
Save me

I try averting attention
Easier said than done with Beth and Susie
I dream of living a boring life
How with three heads, one body?

(Faye looks slowly sideways…)

Someday I could just grab a knife
Buy a big aquarium and drown us in
Simply put, it’s bleedin’ hard
Pray it’s just all in my damn mind
Maybe…

If you don’t help me I’ll snap soon
Quietly I’ll strangle my siblings
It would be best, if for a while
Three heads become one only

Beth & Susie: Faye? Faye?… oh no…

(Faye grabs a kitchen knife)

One cut, I’m through
See you perhaps in heaven

(Beth & Susie cry)

Sliced, now I’m free
I feel like going solo

(Blood everywhere, Beth and Susie’s heads roll to the floor)

I dissipated my tension
Finally I’m now a “one” only
If it was really worth the while
Why do I feel so lonely?

Based on Italy 1980
Alan Sorrenti — Non so che darei

Have you ever
Felt a blinding pain
Like your world is ending
As if something is ripping
A part of your soul

Feeling time freeze
Paralysed at once
There’s no describing
The hurt that you're feeling
The hell that you’re in
Feel like an animal
Trapped in a cage
Some kind of mixture
Of panic, fear and rage

I just stubbed my toe
I can't take it oh no
Seeing stars and black holes, I
Might pass out now
Never felt this way
It’s excruciating!
What's this noise that I'm making?
Am I howling?

911, take my call, please I beg of you!
Operator, alarm! I need a nurse or two!

Oh my pretty
Little pinky toe
Colours are brand new
First pink, now it's petrol
The shadiest blue
Yuk, is it standing up?!
90 degrees
I feel so queasy
I buckle to my knees

I just stubbed my toe
Just can't take it oh no
Seeing stars and black holes, I
Might pass out now
Endless searing pain
It's destroying me, oh!
Simply cannot stop crying
Pass the Kleenex!

I just stubbed my toe
Still can't take it oh no
Seeing stars and black holes, I'm
Passing out now
Never felt this way
How can I recover?
There is just one solution...
Amputation.