O’Shaughn’s 11

Based on San Marino 2024
Megara — 11:11

[indistinct telephone call from Gary to Ryan O'Shaughnessy]

Gary's fallen on hard times
Once a true great Irish hope
Now crushed by high-risk loans
Called his nephew and proposed
They should get together and
form a crew

It seems Gary had an idea to propose
Cos bad times call for desperate measures
For him to repay what he owed
To the sharks - and in full
To achieve, he would need eleven

He came up with a plot, forming a posse
To find riches to purloin
They'd break into the home of a rival
While he was performing in Malmö (mö mö)

He's got two contest winners
and one more as a writer

Each one had their unique role
Financing the outfit: Brooke Scullion
Logistics handled by Red Hurley
Colm CT Wilkinson
He was born to handle comms
Blueprints entrusted to
safe hands of Lesley Roy

And on the cable drop? Course it was Jedward
Going down as the big one
They roped in Linda M, as the muscle
Niamh to get them past the pupil scan

All successful heists (including this one)
Need an inside man
To be more precise Bambie was
their inside they/them

Despite their planning
There was a shock

[dramatic slomo action sequence]

Lesley mixed up the maps - story of her life
Linda Martin got too drunk
And Jedward's hair set off all the lasers
Red - he got the wrong day
Then Bambie changed their tune - and they warned Logan
Niamh had no box to stand on
And Colm began to sing - to enforcement
Brendan forgot the escape balloon

They're held now by the Garda
But there's always a sequel