Maxi & Chris Garden Watching Eurovision 1989 During Their Post-Eurovision Career

Based on Maxi & Chris Garden — Frieden für die Teddybär’n (German NF 1987)

1989 would become known for marking the beginning of the end for the Communist bloc
In hiding went all six members of the band Riva as they were far from being adored

Schweizers thought: ‘Don’t need a trimmer, let the hosts talk for a week’
Plastic monster Lolita tuned out when Jacques said ‘Buna notg’
Whining: ‘Why aren’t we in Bern? It just doesn’t feel quite right!’
Well, you’ve ended up in hell, wherein no nine points apply
And the zwölf, fault, twelve are divine

See just how little we’re caring, yet somehow we just can’t stop staring
Nino doesn’t make eye contact, but Nina hissed and joined those who made an impact
We just find ourselves despairing, we’d rather watch non-stop childbearing
Da Vinci needs to disappear in a way very cruel, we sure picture it vividly

Steady swearing, not so endearing, is heard all over Lausanne
Talk of the town is unclear but it can be heard in Cannes
Everywhere the same gossip goes: Forstner is a dick, oh well
Ingeborg had kissed Fani; wanted Yiannis expelled
Pan has scurf, baldness amplified

See just how little we’re caring, yet somehow we just can’t stop staring
The Swiss director must be sacked! Decent cues all purloined, Swiss mountain shots intact
How is this programme still airing? It’s past eleven, stop the blaring
Unsteady Guy Tell counts to three. Oh my God what a fool, he must become an amputee!

We skip the voting as we bark; it is something we coined, and it pays extra Mark
Peeing on our client’s hair, as we hear Riva win, unfair!
It should have been us, we’re sincere! Please can we overrule the injustice, it’s too severe!