Barbershøp of Horrors

Based on Denmark 2002
Malene — Vis mig hvem du er

Leather black pneumatic chair
It’s my personal hell
Turn around, take a gander
Barbicide, clips, shampoo and gel
You approach my right side
You attempt to catch my eye

Please just cut my hair
Razor's in the drawer
I've got nowt to say about girls or sport
Don't show me her nudes
Can't you tell I'm femme?
Small talk makes me reach for citalopram
So cease this questionnaire

To avoid further upset
For a few kroner more
I’d email you further details
Of my somewhat concealed scalp mole
All along terrified
Your rough combing makes me cry

Please just cut my hair
Chit chat I deplore
Cut around my ear
I'll stare at the floor
Give me solitude
Move me now and then
Swiftly and we're done. I'll pay. That's the plan.
“Bro..” Please no I despair!
It’s not fair!

You still long for reply
While I sit wanting to die

(barely audible MOR music plays on the radio in the background)

Please just cut my hair (short)
Still you must take reasonable care
Feel that messy look

Please just cut my hair
I don’t seek rapport
Barber capes are quiet weapons of war
Hands me some tissues
Says “cash only man”
Contactless payment - clearly not a fan
Release me from this chair