Eurovision Squid Game

Based on Sweden 1991
Carola — Fångad av en stormvind

*sinister howling*
*sound of tentacles*

Like that South Korean show
Contestants stand to win many millions
Is your cashflow running low?
Sign up and try your luck, you might even make new friends

Just a word of warning: while it sounds like fun,
You will battle like it’s nineteen ninety-one

In the Eurovision Squid Game!
Lots to play:
Steal a kiss from Sarah Bray
Take the last word from Amina
Can, İzel, Reyhan say you must get
Toto to enunciate, without errors
“Iki dakika”


Now you’d best get set to run
Kim Jackson’s shooting wasps from her underwear
Tug-of-war with Just4Fun
Venetian acid rain sprays from Thomas Forstner’s hair

Bebi Dol demands you samba for your life
Did I mention she shoots lasers from her eyes?

In the Eurovision Squid Game!
Dodge the cats thrown at you by Duo Datz
and the ghost of Anders Frandsen
Wrestle with Peppino in your briefs
Take his socks off with your teeth,
meanwhile Clouseau point at you and laugh

The final battle: (oooh!)
Defeat me if only you can
I’m SquidCarola
and I’ll tear your neck, your face, your hands

And that’s how we got that strange name:

Eurovision “Squid” Game
And if you can vanquish me
You’re the winner of our jackpot
You survived these weird games – you’re a star
Take your money, buy a car
Come back next year, if you’re not too maimed

(Still think that’s an odd name)

It’s my Eurovision Squid Game!