Based on Turkey 1998
Tüzmen — Unutamazsın

Regretfully did not escape. Lights dim for act two
Pentameter never fails to dissatisfy

Intermission seems so distant - It's been five hours
Oh the male lead finished talking - I shall feign applause

Performing arts bore me to the point of dismay
So why you ask, did I agree to watch this play?

Something bourgeois, and cultured, sounded quite fine
Not this clichéd, tired shambles that's over time

I hoped for full frontal nudity
But suffered an hour soliloquy
The back of my seat, slightly indented
And it's killing me

The view is restricted like they said
Made worse by my seat neighbour's head
I should've stayed home to watch the Süper Lig instead

The seat pitch is the coup de grace - Twelve inches won't do
Discomfort builds. I need to act. Escape this hell!

Inattentive, think inventive - Stella Artois?
Warm and flat, served in clear plastic, bought from the bar

But then I would surely need a wee
Sacrificed my time, now my kidneys?
There's not enough beer that could convince me
This is interesting

Review said four stars - I feel misled
The couple behind me have fled
But still I persist. The lights start dimming once again

Additional scenes make me see red
We're way over time as I’ve said
I grab my ice cream, ignore the usher, leave this dread

Pub instead