The Heavy Petting Zoo

Based on Austria 2003

In a petting zoo in Tarrenz no one could quite explain
Why the cows would bleat like sheep and all the rabbits oinked and neighed (for shame)

The lambs all looked like turtles, the llamas were quite scaly
All the kangaroos had feathers and the goats – well, they mooed gaily

Although it seemed so odd, it happened for a reason
Every animal there shared the same sexy secret:

With the crowds gone they got their groove on
’Cause all the fondling just left them frothing
And all the petting just got them wet and
Soon after dark, orgies would start


All this inter-species cross-breeding, all this fauna-neutral lovin’
’Twas the whole pet zoo laughing in the face of evolution (and Darwin)

There’s no way it should work, you’d surely think, with biology and things
And yet, somehow, rules > window > fly when zoo friends choose to swing

With a little cock-a-doodlin’, a lot of shells a-rockin’
Fur and feathers flyin’ and all sorts of horns a-lockin’

Hours of cuddles and tickled arseholes
The endless clutching, intimate touching
It gets them horny. ‘Animal Pornfeed’
Is what to type for an insight

Pigs that fly and donkeys with duck down
Hee-hawing camels and mystery mammals
They all await you at Tarrenz Pet Zoo
In deepest, darkest Austria