British Eurovision Fans ca Oct 2015

Based on Sweden 2004

Come on, BBC – you know the way we feel!

You promised us a new start, but it’s just more of the same.
It’s already October and we haven’t heard a name!
So we’ll just start a rumour to help make up your minds… Oh!

Hurts? No! It’s Hurts? Really? Hurts?!
’Cause the Scissor Sisters might if it’s right that they’re game.
You know that it’s Hurts? No! It’s Hurts? Really, Hurts?
In the end it doesn’t matter – the odds are the same
that either will be persuaded by the fee.
Or come first. Which is worse.

You tease us with a “huge star” and we’ll assume you’ve lied,
cos we’d get Marti Pellow with an unreleased B-side,
pretending to be sober. Afraid that just won’t do. So…

Hurts? No! It’s Hurts? Really? Hurts?!
It’ll prob’ly be denied in the cold light of day.
There’s no way it’s Hurts. Olly Murs said, “No, sir!”
Although he’d be good, Will Young said no, and he’s a gay.
We can’t be picky: we’ll go with Morrissey.
Bugger Hurts!

No, can’t even get Sinitta – not after this year’s “shock upset”.
It’s not what you intend but (it’s not what you intend but) oh! You do this all the time!

(Hurts? No! It’s Hurts? Really? Hurts?!)
Oh! Did we really hear that right? Proper final again?!
You know, that could work. Not just work – really work!
We’re not talking Song for Europe. No, nothing that lame.
They’ve promised there’ll be song-writing royalty.
True experts. Who needs Hurts? (Who needs Hurts?)
Top five for sure in Stockholm. Mmm, that’s a cert! (Cert, that’s a cert, that’s a cert.)