Based on United Kingdom 1982
Bardo — One Step Further
“My least favourite of my 3 babies was in this heat, so I'm impatient for the next.”
– Harrow, 2024
One more fuck-up and I’m out of the will :(
All that time spent on dance lessons, still lacking step-dad’s pride
Both of your sisters won trophies, you’re a dancing blight
This child dance pageant scene looked like a piece of cake
When we watched Honey Boo Boo
But it’s been awful and grim, what a huge mistake
It’s all gone Harrow Boo Hoo
Once from the top then…
Constant pressure, dancing under duress
We’re still no closer to a trophy till there’s one for Most Stressed
Months we’ve tried, and not a wiggle’s impressed
Seems there’s no saving one step-daughter
If she can’t get One Step
I’ve got two anvils for feet, that’s become quite clear
Well here’s one positive: let’s be glad that Bettina’s not here
(Just to be clear, she’s not dead, but she’d wish she were
If she watched our botched tribute)
Can’t get the moves right, it’s easy choreo
Legs so slow they might take root
Our reputation?
“One Step Führer” and “the wounded gazelle”
You should’ve turned around and dipped me, not just stood as I fell
Far too kind to say it’s not going well
More like a train of foxtrot fuck-ups
And piss-poor pirouettes
YOU’RE NOT MY REAL STEP-DAD!!! WHAT A STUPID PLAN!!!
Win each year with some new actor? Well, not Sally Anne!!!
IT’S A HOAX!!! I’ve got no sisters!!!
I’m not a triplet!!! I’m just a singlet!!!
:/
Awkward silence, pent-up fury laid bare
Poor Harrow knows he was a bit mean, but he really did care
Well then… bye… there’s no connection we share 😢
We drift off stage… then…
Joint eureka!! We can channel this!!!
ONE STEP’S TURGID AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!!!
One whispers “turn around and kick me” - judges hold up their 10s
Waltzing tykes? They’d rather watch a hot mess
One Step murdered, there’s a shoe in the air
Bettina blasting over screaming as there’s pulling of hair
Dignified? No, but most acts wouldn’t dare
And then one takes things one step further
Than they should’ve done…
🚑
Almost perished as I flew down 12 steps
Thank god it wasn’t one step further
Worth it, ‘cause I won a…
One Step best friend ♥️