Based on Switzerland 1988
Céline Dion — Ne partez pas sans moi
During the Interval Act
In the Green Room
Of Simmonscourt Pavillion
29th April 1988
Poo
Is what you are smelling
Poo
Can be a sensation
Poo
Tells you of your future
Sometimes
It’s called scatomancy
Poo
Ponder on its colour
Intensely
Then you’ll see
The perfect poo is brown
Due to bilirubin
Though yellow/green when in the bile
It gets digested
By good bacteria
Inside your intestines
And turns the stool
To darkish brown
Adds the malodour
You know
Ew ew ew ew
Poo’s
Not always this colour
Poo
Clay/white may mean jaundice
Poo
If red, don’t think cancer
Instead
It is far more likely
You’ve
Eaten too much beetroot
Or have anal bumps, piling up
A speedy poo is green
Rushing through your system
Poo that’s yellow, resists the flush?
Pancreas needs checked
If black’s your hue of poo
Go now, see the doctor
Might be bleeding up in your gut
From gastritis
Or an overdose
Of liquorice
Well-sucked
But don’t get too perturbed
If hue change is fleeting
Should it persist, see your GP
Who will agree, you need to heed
The colour of your poo
💩 Coprofiles amongst the performers applaud for an unreasonably long time 💩
#Have-a-Goo-at-your-Poo