Don’t Meow Back

Based on Estonia 2003
Ruffus — Eighties Coming Back

The new blinds are coming
And we’ve paid for the electric stove
The steam mop and the steel garden bin, oh what bliss

Aha, you thought I’d forgotten
Yeah, the promise once we had it all
You can trust I won’t get carried away now
Feeling calm, so…

I promise I will only bring back the one cat
A microchipped, spayed, or neutered one at that
You can even keep the engine running, for the cunning, gentle, stunning feline coming back

Aw yeah!

[Alongside meows]
I just can’t do it
So many gingers, blacks, and whites
And the sweet tabby kitten I can’t leave out

Then there’s the mother of that fluffy little guy
I can see she’s only got one eye
She needs my help – I’ll take them all, they need a loving home tonight

My God!
Now we’ve just adopted eighty-seven cats
How does one look after eighty-seven cats?!
Now we must invoke the deities
There’s no space to keep all of these bloomin’ crazy rescue cats!


Yeah, now the tap won’t stop running
I can’t cook with any type of fish
And every single cat wants fresh air when I open any door to go for a break somewhere outside

Though I really like these eighty-seven cats
(Oh, I do really like these cats)
I can’t deal with the constant stream of dead rats
(You know they’re always bringing rats back)

The solution to this great big problem
(I don’t think we can come back)
Is to give up our house to the
(Mad cat lady’s)
Eighty-seven cats!