See If You Can Spot the Exact Moment He Shits Himself

Based on Italy 2023
Marco Mengoni — Due vite (live version)

So, have you ever seen a man in leather trousers
Just go and shit himself in front of millions of people?
’Cause if the bubbling and gurgling in my guts is any indication
That’s exactly, and shortly, what’s about to occur here

No idea why that thought has tickled me, it’s not a joke or even slightly funny
I suppose I’m just laughing so I can cover up the ever-mounting horror
That’s because I’m pre-shitting bricks at the mere thought of shitting myself here
And who here hasn’t?

I know there’s two hot guys behind me going boing-boing on trampolines
And if I wasn’t about to go nova, then sure, I’d be all over them like a rash
Alas, my stomach’s doing somersaults and drops and jumps all of its own
And I don’t need the reminder

In fact I think I’m better off if I keep moving
In the meantime, good advice, so listen up y’all
You don’t wanna repeat my mistake, this could save both your pants and your face
And stop your guts from doing loop-the-loops, as if they’re eating this fucking top

Don’t eat extra-hot instant noodles just an hour before you’re due on stage like I did
Hair and make-up did try and warn me about them, sadly I just scoffed the bastards
Now I feel like they crawled up into the most angry fold of my arsehole
And now they’ve died there

Or rather I’m the one who’s dying, ’cause they’re killing me from within
Suppose one good thing’s these trousers, this leather, won’t stain, when the tsunami wave rears its head
The steaming torrent will work its way south, trickle out, and then just slowly pool around my feet
A spicy, towering, brown and green monument to three shit-hot minutes of TV shame

Good, thank you, yes, go close up on me, then it might help me to ignore the fact
That I can feel it building, standing on the porch like a Mormon
Full of crap, unwelcome, preaching fire and curry-red brimstone
Oh shit – his ugly face is at the door

God damn! This could be myooooo– [Director: Be ready if he really *does* lose his shit!] –therfucker!
It’s like the Alien chest-burst, except that this one just clawed its way out of my poor arse
And what the – Jesus wept, the smell! It’s – I can barely even hold the mike
Christ! Cut me off now, kthxxxxxxxxbai