Based on Portugal 2011
Homens da Luta — A luta é alegria
We’re picketing the office of Christer Björkman
We’ll protest till he brings back the Monegasque
On Malta and SM it's an unfair burden
To showcase microstates is a macro task
They’ve been gone since forever
At least Séverine Ferrer
We’re overdue a sequel to Coco-Dance
Why else would Liechtenstein have a TV station
If not to stuff the contest with yodel tracks?
Unless all microstates get participation
They’ll just be known as havens for dodging tax
Let Schaan host in their theatre
The stage is one square metre
It’s next to Hilti Aktiengesellschaft
If only Biggi Bachmann's body had been bigger
Enough to fill a swimming pool with just one finger
That might've made them big enough to have a singer
My Little Cowboy could’ve been a weeny winner
Don’t brag about Luxembourg with us
We mean lands so small they can't fill one bus
The Isle of Man has just one post box
‘Cause it’s just one man living on some rocks
Perhaps the Vatican might send something religious
Such as a Mormon or a band of Hare Krishnas?
They could try Senhit but their wealth can’t beat her stickers
Or keep it local, maybe they could find some fiddlers?
Andorra wasn’t liked much by other nations
The only small state where one can’t bribe a judge
Their forward-thinking fashions brought us elation
But now it's just mistaken for a map smudge
Mount Athos has believers
And surely tonnes of divas
They’d hear the cheers from Greece when they give douze points
How could Australia be let in before Sealand‽
They didn’t even check to see what’s round New Zealand
Such as the Federated States of Micronesia
Nauruan guanopop could be a wee crowd pleaser
We want the Big 5 to be shrunk down
Swapped for dots of sand that will all soon drown
We’re yet to hear Tuvalu’s own sounds
Though their .tv’s where the contest’s found
Sure it's a start Russia’s twice been banned
But let's not ban bands from Bashkortostan
Though there's a chance it’s a made-up land
Of the Bashkir songs we're already fans
Hey look it’s Marta Roure, taller than a steeple!
We thought that microstates were lands for little people?
Discrimination against dwarves we thought was evil
Guess we can go home now we know they’re being legal
Besides, they'd only end up sending more Ralph Siegel