Based on Finland 2010
Kuunkuiskaajat — Työlki ellää
Greetings to all readers, thanks so much for joining
We can only tell our story every now and then
Billions wonder and we know that rumours are widespread
We’d like to take this chance to put some things to bed
We are killers
Why? We like it! It’s easy to do
You might be wary, but you can do it too
We’ll show you
Buy a knife and just a bit of glue
That is all you need to end someone for good
One piece of advice on how to get the job done
Make sure to wear sweatpants, they’re so easy to slip on
Surely now you’re curious who we’ve pushed off the brink
Listen as we’ll tell but know we’re older than you think
We murdered
Franz Ferdinand and Tupac Shakur
Lee Harvey Oswald; before JFK too
But also
Lord Mountbatten, IRA fell through
We have no morals, butchered Desmond Tutu
* Happy murder music *
Those who think we’re too far, we warn them: please dream on
We slay and massacre from Qingdao to Oregon
No matter if you are fragile or out on the line
We will smash your skull or maybe stab you in the spine
To do list:
- Dye our hair black
- Get nice new gym shoes
- Improve our rope work
- Learn how to kill with glue
To kill list:
- Miley Cyrus
- Loreen Talhaoui
- Donald Trump, Jr.
- Camilla, Queen consort
Sometimes victims object their coming death and pain
That is when we gag them as to muffle all complaints
Seeing the dispair and desperation in their eyes
Adds to that great feeling right before our subject dies
We love torture
Dying’s nice but suffering is too
If this well dries up, new source of revenue
No questions
Privacy’s what we strongly value
This is our business so you can’t have a clue
Thank you for
Siding with us and our point of view
Though please beware our next victim could be you!
(Author note: curious to know what salamurhaajat means? Let’s find out.)