Based on Ireland 1993
Niamh Kavanagh — In Your Eyes
Boeing’s now in motion
I’m seated, locked inside
Should’ve stayed in Ireland
But I hate the countryside
The safety card confounds me
Bad feelings start to grow
But now they’ve locked the cabin doors
We’re gonna go airborne …
In the skies on this damned flight
Jesus, we’re all condemned!
My stomach’s turning somersaults
My heart is in my mouth
Petrified, knuckles white
Don’t trust those hostesses’ fake smiles
These seats are way too small as well …
[cabin crew:]
… For your thighs
Maybe try distractions
The inflight magazine?
I’d rather down a whisky
And a dose of diazepam
Children all around me
Is this day care or a plane?
My bags got stowed away
Now my headphones won’t be found again!
Close my eyes
To visualise being back home again
The fireside in a cosy pub
The flavour of stewed lamb
Soothing harps, soda bread
Already miss you, Emerald Isle
I’m almost feeling chilled
but then …
MY SEAT HAS NO LIFE VEST!!
NOW THERE’S NO WAY I WILL SURVIVE
A LANDING ON WATER!!
IS THIS MY FINAL GOODBYE??!!
Oh, in the skies, it’s fight or flight
As I am crawling down the aisle
I’m screaming like a child of ten …
“WaaaAAAHHH!!”
[cabin crew:]
[Oh] Madam, please, be polite
and take your seat again …
“THERE’S WARNING LIGHTS!!”
“THERE’S WARNING LIGHTS!!”
… It’s just the fasten seatbelt sign:
We’re coming into land!
“WAAAAAAHHH!!”
Madam, please, hold on tight!
| You must be patient for a while! |
“I DID THIS ONLY FOR AIRMILES!” |
These knickers have been soiled again
‘cos I took to the skies.
☹