Based on Finland 2022
The Rasmus — Jezebel

I thought that I could rip your face off
Fling shit with full impunity
Jerk off in full view of my sisters
Climb up and piss on them from trees
Hoped hair would coat my hairless body
I’d grow a big prehensile cock
All this and more when I contracted

I somehow thought it would be more fun
What with the cheeky things monkeys do
Like stealing stuff and infanticide
But instead
It’s throbbing buboes and muscle aches
My dick is itchy and so’s my face
More anal blisters than I’ve had cocks
Up my arse

Living hell

I guess I ought to have known better
I went through all this as a boy
The same regret when I came down with

Chickenpox (such a crock)
I really thought I would start to cluck (bock-bock-bock)
I longed to lay eggs, just one or two (no such luck)
Fly a bit, even if not that far
But instead (speckled red)
I itched like fuck for about ten days (slathered in)
And all I scratched was my spotty face (calamine)
Oh, how I wished a cloaca’d form
In my arse

But say a pox somehow allowed you
To look and act just like its name
You’d get that creature’s superpowers
And no shame

Doggypox...? (Doggypox!)
I would be able to lick my balls (endless fun)
I’d sniff your taint every time you move (nose to bum)
And hump your leg whenever I’m hard
Clownfishpox…? (Clownfishpox!)
I could end up in a Pixar film (face on screen)
Learn how to switch up my sex at will (flick that bean)
Might even mean I could fuck myself

Now, what else…?

Giraffepox! (tongue so long)
Cobrapox! (double cock)
Want the lot!