Hotel Hell

Based on Switzerland 1956
Lys Assia — Das alte Karusell

Lys Assia's in Hell
Don't ask why, I can't tell
She runs, with Terry Wogan,
The ESC hotel

The afterlife's protean
Don't know which room you'll be in
Depends on the behaviour
You showed as human beings

After you leave the mortal coil
and face your ordinance
If bad outweighs your most good deeds
You won't go to the clouds

You'll check in there instead
They'll make for you a bed
Your soul will then be dragged in
To your eternal cell

You must Stay Forever
Turndown? No, No Never
And you'll sleep on a pillow of Stones

The service Rock Bottom
Cig stains on the carpet
And the smoke alarm's Gordienko

You will not sleep so well
As outside the fires swell
But even attempting to draw pyro curtains
Surely won't have a pleasant outcome

Be sure that Hotel Hell
Is no good place to dwell
Be good and get to Heaven
To check in with D'Mol

Lys Assia's in Hell
Could end up there as well