Sick Hamster

Based on Austria 1984
Anita — Einfach weg

It's a ghastly sight
I've this morning found
Burning hot, full of blood, his urine brown
I'm sorry my dear
You'll just have to die
Though I should save your life, I must disappoint
This is why:

I find vets really costly, pretentious and hard to withstand
I find vets failing students who won't get a med school grant
I find vets just as well to be groomers in dog fur salons
I find vets to know zilch about hamsters, or peregrine falcons

Rattish animals
"Oh-oh-oh-oh no..."
Such as vole and mouse
Have lifespan maximal
"Oh-oh-oh-oh no…"
Of three years, thereabouts
"Oh-no-no, it's twelve…"

Your cage can be used
For my next new pet
And your wheel
London Eye complementing my lego set
I'll build you a shrine
"Avro, bravely died"
While you gag on your puke, you should know that I meant
To retain your life

I find vets having caustic-like smell, like they lived in a pond
I find vets all that's wrong in this country, and far beyond

Rather stay inside
"Oh-oh-oh-oh no…"
And save thirty Pounds
"Oh-no-no, just ten…"
It's sad, but I've my pride
"Oh-oh-oh-oh no…"
It's just a stinking mouse

I find vets big, revolting old shams, although I think
I find vets often rich, and I'm single, so I'll give in
I'll find vets in the yellow page guide, give them a ring
I find Vets between Vehicle Licence and Violins