I Killed A Cow

Based on Finland 1968

In India – bumped into a cow
Not quite sure how, not driving fast
I barely nudged it, heard a moo, shrugged and thought it was fine
But when I looked round
Was shocked to find it on the ground:

I killed a cow! That’s me now in the manure
My guts for garters they’ll skewer – a godless, wicked wrongdoer
Oh holy cow! I’m stuck in Udder Pradesh:
They’ll prob’ly put me to death! I must dispose of the evidence

’Kay, where to start – reverse the car
Boom! Cow’s soon entombed, stuffed in the trunk
But now what? That’s a ton of meat. Slowly it dawns on me:
Free burgers for tea!
Ate two or three each night this week

All that fresh cow! Those Hindus’ love is misplaced
No point it going to waste, not now I’ve gotten a taste
For sacred cow – minced, stewed or curried with peas
It’s all I’ve started t’eat. In fact I’m running short. Where’s my car?

I swear I’ve tried to give it up. Wonder ’bout my success?
Well, hazard a guess.
Despite the mess, I must confess:

I’ve killed more cows! Just can’t resist the allure
The gods won’t notice, I’m sure, if there are five or ten fewer
Don’t have a cow! We worship one and the same:
Just grill mine over’a flame. No need to get annoyed.

What’s your beef?