Broken Dryer

Based on Denmark 1983

Broken dryer! What am I supposed to do?
Need some knickers and they’re all soaked through.

I knew at once smalls so unclean
would sorely test the washing machine.
Instead they killed the dryer dead.
That option’s gone. So what does that leave?

My hair dryer? That would take all afternoon.
Radiators aren’t much use in June.

A short skirt’s good, in its way;
not when your **** comes out to play.
At work I bet, though men would tip,
I’d get the shove for giving them lip!

Fan-forced oven! That should do the trick. Let’s see.
Not too hot, mind. 200 degrees.

Soon I’ll have dry lingerie.
But what’s that smell, like an ashtray?
Not – ? Oy vey!

Pants on fire! Undies overcooked, I see.
You might say they’re dryer than I need.

That backfired :( Crispy panties, table three!
Go commando? No choice left for me.
Guess it’s knicker-free!