Christer Björkman’s One Regret After Eurovision 2018

Based on Netherlands 1987

I sit down and kneel
As I fold my hands with trembling fear
It was thrilling, and I thought I was so smart
No, there is no doubt, there was no real remorse I felt
I have always known exactly how my cards were dealt
As you talk, you sound just like a voice-over

Oh dear Lord I have sinned
Gave them number two
Their lower score
I see it now
#Almaia will hunt me anyhow
Maybe I’ll get skinned
By all the eurofans
Or worse than skinning they’ll chase me and
They’ll all scream ‘Let’s get his hairs trimmed’
(Let’s get his hairs trimmed!)

How I really feel
About it all and their ‘Canción’…
Let’s just say that it is not state of the art
And you know, deep within I pity their bad luck
Mainly hers, because we all know he is gay as fuck
But she’s stuck with him, she got the leftover

Oh dear Jon I have sinned
Now I know it’s true
I used to soar
But now I vow
To retain Spain’s spot as a cash cow
When the lights are dimmed
With the draw in my hands
I’ll put Spain in number thirteen or
Even in bloody twenty-six

#Almaia, can we please underscore
My hairs were just recently trimmed
(They came twenty-third!)
Åh nej, it’s the herd!
(Now we’ll skin you, turd!)
Jon, put in a word!