Physical Jerks

Based on Sweden 1993

Comrades in the thirties and forties group
Take your places please
I can see you all on my telescreen, yes I can
Morning exercises are crucial to every person’s health
I will show you a few, you’ll do them too
Let’s get ready, and one, and two
(ah ah ah ah ah ah owwww)
Oh don’t complain, no pain no gain

Let’s begin!
Bend and stretch those arms together
And you had best remember to do your best, or face my temper
Bread, stew, cheese
That is all you eat for dinner, yet you are all no thinner!
Or do you all drink too much Victory Gin?
Dear oh dear.

Now we’ll touch our toes
Over from the hips, don’t you bend those knees
Anyone your age should complete this well, uh-huh…
6079! Yes, Smith W! You bend lower please
You’re not trying a bit, and you’re unfit
To my orders you will submit
You’ll all end up in Room 101.

Sooo! Watch me, please
Thirty-nine and I’m a mother
One kid after another
And just like me they love Big Brother
There’s no reason to think I’ll let you slack off
And I am keeping track of the lazy ones
And I will tell the Thought Police
Yes indeed!

(boo-hoo-hoo, ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-owwww)
Keeping bending, keep stretching, for Oceania!

Well, I’m pleased that you understand I’m serious
Keep-fit makes me delirious
Now try again
That’s better now comrades!
Stand at ease.