Captured by the Narcoleptic Chief Investigator

Based on Italy 2018

My gun was out of ammo, was cornered in the ghetto
I'd stolen from a gambler, back then I was a klepto
I thought she was a statue, not moving in the alley
As silent as a tortoise, it looked like rigor mortis
She stepped out from the doorway, and told us she was sorry
I couldn't complain as she'd caught me in flagrante
She took us to her boss who, said that I was a goner
He made me really suffer, with two months in the slammer
And when you hear my story, it may sound quite familiar
She caught me near the dock and she arrested me for murder
Despite my protestations, she used me as a pillow
Until the backup team came, and took me to the station
I'd been arrested quickly, felt I was treated badly
Not listened to my alibi, or my side of the story
I felt the evidence was just purely based on hearsay
Promise that I am not guilty
Captured by the narcoleptic
Chief investigator’s mean tricks
She was in her nightdress and her panties
But she still made the arrest
She had sleepwalked up so gently
I had only stolen twenty
bottles of olive oil and about seventeen dollars thirty
When finally my chance came, with the investigator
I was a little scared, by all that she then told me
She found out that I was the murderer's next target
I was in fact the victim, she took me in to save me
Fessing up the money, and about the bottles
I tried to make the case to her my kids were hungry
Though seeming sympathetic, she said she must insist
That I would serve a little time in prison
Captured for my own protection
My thoughts start to change direction
Took away my freedom with good reason
While she caught the perpetrator
After she had an espresso
She assembled all her colleagues
And told them to deploy for what was a major operation
At the time I was set free, from my stint in the slammer
As I walked out of prison, I crossed paths with the gambler
It seems that in addition to bets in the casino
He'd murdered seven people, at least as far as the police know
Captured by her skilled sleep-judo
The whole time she kept her eyes closed
Lives saved by the narcoleptic
chief investigator's actions
We owe to her our lives, we'll remain forever indebted
What can I do to repay
Without her we'd not be here
I could buy her a new duvet
Invest in comfy pyjamas
Lighten up her caseload, by snitching on my partner, we'll turn a new life over
Or buy her a cappuccino