Based on Serbia 2022
Konstrakta — In corpore sano
Aharp ánboduhc ej avalsitarb | Eugarp s’nam roop a si avalsitarb
If asked to name a famous Slovak place or person
Would you be left stumped?
If asked to name one that’s not from the Czech Republic
Could you produce one? (Could you think of *any*?)
Try to draw the Slovensko flag – no, not that, it’s Slovenija (nuh-uh)
Fair enough. But maybe at least you know the capital (uh-huh)
Oh, you do! But the airport never gets used
Cause of Flughafen Wien. So name some
great writer, or some statesman (Václav Havel wasn’t ours) (nuh-uh),
or sights in the capital (uh-huh) – not the Danube, not the Old Town (nuh-uh)
Bet you can’t name a thing in Bratislava
Bratislava, Bratislava, Bratislava (nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh…)
Brat-Brat-Brat-Bratislava, Bratislava, Bratislava (nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh…)
Cos it’s “very boring” (nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh…)
Please do go and search on Trip Advisor
For our top-ranked shopping centre
Cos it’s ranked as high as eighth, see, not at all like Prague’s one
(Scroll down further, past the number sixty)
Their top sight is good old Charlie
That’s a bridge across a river
But it’s on the *Vltava*
Which we know goes nowhere, stays in Czechia
But from here on our blue Danube, you can
Float all the way to Budapest
(Huh) Who needs a rotating (uh-huh) metal head of Kafka
(Uh-huh) We’ve a statue of a (uh-huh) guy called Schöner Náci
(Er) It’s worth pointing out though (uh-huh) – not a Nazi, (nuh-uh) not that handsome,
(Nuh-uh) Not a German, not a German, not a German
(Not a German) Slovak through and through
We have a flying saucer (a viewing platform)
Then there’s cheeky Čumil (guy in a sewer)
If you manage, er, a thing or two (your expectations)
It can turn out not that bad at all (might just surprise you)
It’s not fair that they call Bratislava:
Poor man’s Praha, poor man’s Praha, poor man’s Praha (nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh…)
Poor-poor-poor-poor man’s Praha, poor man’s Praha, poor man’s Praha (nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh…)
Bugger, bugger, bugger! (nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh…)
(-slav-slav-slav-slav-slav-)
Sme rovnako dobrí, sme rovnako dobrí (-slav-slav-slav-) | We’re just as good, we’re just as good
Sme rovnako dobrí, sme rovnako dobrí (-slav-slav-slav-) | We’re just as good, we’re just as good
Sme rovnako dobrí, sme rovnako dobrí | We’re just as good, we’re just as good
Nudné and mesto I think were your words | ‘Boring’ + ‘city’
(Akou frázou ste nás opísali?) | (What turn of phrase did you use to describe us?)
(Chudobný príbuzný?) Boli sme druhým | (Poor cousin?) We were the second
(Chudobný príbuzný!) najväčším mestom | (Poor cousin!) biggest city
(Chudobný príbuzný?!) Československa! | (Poor cousin?!) in Czechoslovakia!
We’re twice Brno’s size