Based on Germany 1962
Conny Froboess — Zwei kleine Italiener
I am dying in this office
Thinking how to kill (the time)
Then two-step authentication
Sends a shiver down my spine
Two-step authentication
I log on with my passkey
But immediately after
I’m asked to hone patience skills
Two-step authentication
Chagrined and malign
Why am I the one to suffer?
This is unjust and so vile
But two-step authentication
Knows no mercy by design
I feel like such a wiener
When distrust spikes and causes pain
The system just gets keener
“Authentication failed”
Two-step authentication
A lesson in hide and seek
It always gets me quaking
When I’m without my phone near
Two-step authentication
One cannot decline
Sighing at the situation
Surely this should be a crime
But two-step authentication
Is for “safety”, how divine
I feel that I get meaner
When I have to authenticate
Affecting my demeanour
Enabling seething mode
Two-step authentication
It’s time for a killing spree
Without all needless drama
Shoot Dave first, then Annely
Two-step authentication
The crowd, they go wild
I’m arrested for manslaughter
Why can’t I just pay a fine?
But two-step authentication
Made me end up on cloud nine
It’s weird but I’m a hero
Fans call me “No-Authenticate”
Official merch is here now
Proceeds, merci, they’re mine