Based on Denmark 1995
Aud Wilken — Fra Mols til Skagen
I bought it online
For its Nordic design
Supposed to come from Denmark
Birthplace of The Seebach (Tommy)
As I opened the box (surprise!)
I was in for two shocks (why?)
There’s nothing in Danish
And everything’s greyish
My watch, brand Skagen, comes not from Schengen
It’s not from Jutland, nor from Gry-land
Shipped from North Carolina
Its parts had been produced in China
Its brand is clearly European
Its designers Korean
(That sucks!)
Then, I e-mailed their helpdesk (well done)
Told them it is grotesque (go, girl!)
That’s false advertising
Calls for an uprising
Let’s boycott Skagen, from Lyon to Bergen
Let’s start a riot, just don’t be quiet
I’ll fly to Dallas, Texas
In the airport, I’ll hire a Lexus
I'll sneak into their office later
Don’t say I am a hater
I’ll stalk the boss
Complain that their approach is so gross
Don't stop until they change their brand name
To something new like "Fort Wayne"
Danish people
(From Mols to Skagen)
Will see me as their one true hero
(From Brixx to Sissal)
As, from cultural appropriation,
I’d saved our beloved nation