New Employment

Based on Serbia 2011
Nina — Čaroban

My name’s Lina, in charge of cleaning the floor.
Thirty years cleaned the mayor’s house.
I am old, ride the bus - it gives me the creeps,
so I wanted a brand new job.

Saw the paper, it listed a promising one.
The headquarter’s in Geneva.
“Swipe the hair and the sputum right off the stage.”
Short term work and the pay is great.
Sometimes things, they don’t go our way…

I hop on the stage, I’ll Swiffer, country gets ready,
Crew say “You SHASHAY! The postcard is ending!”
But German girly brought huge stairs, got dry ice too.
How will I clean all that?

Some prick - he left without his crushed paper boatie.
“Hey, don’t leave your toy, I’m not your maid boy!”
And Denmark’s curtain looks folded and wrinkled.
What fool will iron that?

Try to sneak me a smoke when Portugal’s on.
Crew is bringing a sauna.
I go “Hvala, I’m not a big fan of the heat.”
“Questo e per la Svezia.”

And I think he is on some heavy new drug,
cause there’s no way there is such time,
to hang off curtains get the sauna on.
Such a miniscule frame of time.
But who cares, that is not my job.

People cheer me on, I take Kaj’s sausage pieces
put them in my apron, to snack on them later.
Crew say “Get ready, France is next on the big stage!”
What the fuck, is that sand?

A great performance though a bit overtrying.
Where is my Dyson, to vacuum all that sand?
The nice presenters, they go on to assist me.
“Vielen Dank, miss Sandra!” Hey!
“Hazel, hey!”

Turns out I had to work two hundred more minutes.
Contract terms hidden, my exit forbidden!
And I’ll be frank; I found the props so distasteful.
Fly home to Leskovac!

“Mayor please take me back…”