Based on Spain 2001
David Civera — Dile que la quiero
Don’t think I would mind, had I consented
But there’s some things about me which
You really must accept
Thought I had much to be recommended
Love, they say, is blind. Seems not, I suspect
Stealthily, you’re changing me
But now you’ve gone too far
Since you have tried to turn me
Vegan by the back door
That simply is a no-no
Don’t you know that soya leaves me on the bog with diarrhoea?
Did not want to say, but
Now we’re on the subject
Bebé, I can’t stand your nut roast
Heaven’s a beef tortilla
(Eat it!)
No more tofu!
(Eat it!)
No, stuff your chickpeas!
(Eat it!)
Never will my mouth or tongue touch
The cack that’s plant-based sausage
While I recognise you’ve tweaked my fashion
Was this success the source of
Your fanatic zeal
But my dear, it’s left you with no compassion
To use these subversive tricks that
Are not exactly that ideal
Maybe this explains away your latest fetish where
You daub my dick in hummus
Really, I must say no
The temperature is too low
Surely you must see that being vegan is no panacea
Did not want to say so
But have you not yet noticed
Beanloaf always gives your sphincter
Some kind of farting seizure
(Eat it!)
(Eat it!)
(Eat it!)
Though it was a crocodile with lipstick
(Eat it!)
(Eat it!)
(Eat it!)
Used to love your cooking, but fish-shaped carrot cake. No!
Can’t you see that it resembles something in the toilet…floating
Never could I say that
It’s taste was not amazing
I didn’t want to enrage you
Cause you get really hangry
Couldn’t go all vegan
I say this most sincerely
Couldn’t live my life without the joy that is a chimichanga
Daily I need meat so
The truth is plain and naked
If you can’t quell your disdain for
This teeny tiny thing, then
Dump me!