Candidate Guttulsrud Kristiansen

Based on Ireland 2025
EMMY — Laika Party

(EMMY, you’re up next)

What the strangest of days
And my head is ablaze
How to answer at this interview

Fight a duck-sized horse?
Why are manholes all round?!

Don’t think I’ve impressed in this big bored room

Well, I hummed and hawed
Must have sounded odd

Had been taking sips
Of water to my lips
But something’s amiss
Now I neeeeed a piss

Fled out like a curving ball
And found the nearest bathroom stall

Cursed to myself for bad luck while I let my bladder spill

It was then that I noticed to my right a glory hole
With a boner poking through

Naughty favour for the job!!

So I opened up my gob

- Sounds of vigorous fellatio -
- performed in Norwegian Style -

After minutes, maybe hours
All I’m hearing is soft ahs
Feeling no sign for an end to come

In order was a break: I will e-e-edge him great
Fingers and a thumb always satisfy

Then I had to sneeze
Knickers at my knees

Let us stomp our feet
Heats me as I beat meat

If you think I lie
Then why don’t you try!

Wow his member’s amplified
My skill set cannot be denied

But have I met the standard at this stage? Have they been swayed?
Perhaps some initiative will prove that I can make the grade

I will climb aboard, alright!

But which orifice to choose?

Lucky I’ve got lots of lube

- Sounds of -
- well, you can work it out -

What’s the verdict from this guy? Yes! Yes! YES!

Coital probing got me hired! Yes! Oh! Yes!

- Sounds…very flexible -

Now I work for Fucks4Less!