Based on Denmark 1988
Hot Eyes — Ka' du se hva' jeg sa'?
Tonight, I’m attending the Danish Music Awards
This year the guest star is a singer whose name is Beyoncé
Everybody speaks like she is the best thing in the world
She might sing so well, and she might dance so well but
I don’t know who she is
Can’t you see, Beyoncé?
I say to her as we meet,
that you don’t have enough charisma
Can’t you see Beyoncé
that your styling is so meh?
You need to do something with that hair
Get orange highlights,
put on some hair gel
You know, spiked hair is back in style
But, can’t you see Beyoncé
green does not suit you?
I wear it so much better than you
She’s now performing, while people watch with interest
“she has a halo” is what an older woman behind said
Meanwhile I almost fell asleep, I cannot understand
the key to her success, she is overrated
I cannot help but tell her:
Can’t you hear, Beyoncé
that you were always offkey?
You sounded like my good friend Wilfried
Can’t you hear, Beyoncé
your voice sounds flat and shrill?
While I make Danish sound melodic
Get singing lessons,
hire vocal coaches
I can teach you all my techniques
But don’t you see, Beyoncé?
The music world is rough
and you just don’t have what it takes
Erm… Kirsten, my darling,
you are making a scene
Have you forgotten your pills? (oh! she forgot her pills!)
Let’s go home already
And let’s leave poor Beyoncé alone
(leave poor Beyoncé alone!) Don’t wanna go:
Can’t you see, Beyoncé
that your dance moves are OK?
But mine are so much sharper than yours
Can’t you see, Beyoncé
you move like that mangup girl?
I guess you are still a single lady
Get some dance classes, rehearse every day
You really need to up your game
So, can’t you see Beyoncé
That you need some good props? we had a
hard cardboard guitaaaaar
Søren drags Kirsten out of the venue while everybody applauds.