Based on Denmark 1997
Kølig Kaj — Stemmen i mit liv
Thy heir speaking
Hail, lord!
What, ‘Hey lot’? Drop that
And start saying ‘you’!
That I would rue…
As ever, easy n clear… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
* Pedantic laughter *
Files notwithstanding
His having sired me sounds
Just implausible
(What’s she on?)
Our first daughter struck us deep
From the time she came to be
Love her dearly, but she’s
A bit too Lisa-esque if you ask me
So raising someone
This nitpicking was hard work
It felt we were haunted
By so many quirks
Was writing at two
And would blabber like a grown-up
First words: ‘I object’, and
Rarer terms would show up
Doctors said she hadn’t
Picked up plain wordings
She spoke “Legalise”
Which we found truly disturbing
Once put in that position
We tried to find a flip side
Used her monstrous knowledge
To become ourselves such brill minds!
‘Haddock’, ‘Ex gratious’
‘Enter alien’, ‘Juice’
‘Pro radar’ – You name it
Braggarts, as peeps frame it…
Were there failed duties
Right at yours truly’s birth? (Brr!)
Hospitals = haywire
Should have seen it with your eyes…
In careless instants
They kidnap infants – Worth (Worse!)
Filing an inquire
Some are maimed! Or even sliced! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
* Rushes to call the Health Department *
Then her teenage years arrived
And we were in for a massive treat…
Hate of difference meant she got
Abused by bullies on repeat
We figured
She could take fighting classes
Wicked folks had it coming:
She’d smash their asses!
Well, surprise! Turned it down
Said she was a self-declared
Peacifist: she cared
For a world that’s “just n fair”…
That is bullshit
Cos men are evil and savage
* Desperate dialling *
I mean, who wouldn’t want to
Have their bones ravaged?
And while we’d watch footy
She loved to study, she loved to read
She loved her puzzles
She loved her crosswords, she loved her tweets
And that’s when she kept starting
To pursue any cause
As stupid as wanting
To repel border laws
And now we’re aghost
She’ so ill-behaved
We find her thankless as fuck
With the efforts we gave…
We did have a hunch
As she wailed when she was born:
We feared our clan
Might get people’s scorn
Health’s chief responded (Well…)
Not what I wanted, though (Whoa!)
They deem all files right
Tryna turn your back on us?!
Since their procedures (And?)
And clinic features were (Er…)
All abided by
Wanna make less of a fuss?
One day
Came up through our doorway
Ditched her telephone
To her room we went
This time she wasn’t suing!
Probs had things brewing…
Hear out, forebear…
Now what crap’s she spewing?
Tell me what happened… Who did…
I followed thee (No…)
Took spit from off the pavement (Yikes!)
Sent a sample
DNA’ll be known soon
No need for that…
The test did not lie (Yeah!)
So stunned I got thy blood (Bud!)
Genes conduct like mad
You were worrying in vain
For out of millions (What?)
Of traits, one’s brilliance (Cut…)
Seems to dodge “bro dads”
You nerd, shut your classist brain!
Scrap Mendel’s model ¯\_(ツ)_/¯