Based on France 1993
Patrick Fiori — Mama Corsica
In tribute to - and a cover of - Fascinating Aïda's Cheap Flights
Well, my sister had set the date
Getting married, ain’t that great
Taking place in Micklethwaite
Where the fuck is that?
Google names it “Arse end of Hell”
But it’s as far as I could tell
Quite near Harrogate
Travel costs, they may be obscene!
A pop-up then fills my screen
Flights for 50 cents!
Wow, flying out from Ajaccio
And the dates, they work out too
I had to book it on the spot
Nitwit, I am not
Yeah, terms and conditions would always apply
“Brexit bonus” is
The source of the low discount price, the website says
Though an airport tax: €154 would be charged
But I did not care
For I’m the one getting my flights for just 50c
Got there on time…the agent chimed
Oh! Seems you’ve not checked-in online!
Fifty Euros, please
But it’s free: standing on the wing
No? Inside! Then you’ll need a seat
Ninety euros, please
There is this green tax we must fee
Use of our loo for poo or wee
Sixty Euros, please
I paid all of these extra costs
Queued at Gate 1993
After eight hours, we took off
But the flight went well
Still, I was concerned by the signage, which read:
“Welcome to Skegness!”
Fanfare announced we’d arrived on time, like I gave a fuck
Speakers carried on
For travellers to Micklethwaite your bus...now awaits
Once you have pre-paid
If not, it’s just £82
In cash, if you please
Damn you BrexitAir!
Fifty Cents, my arse!!