Based on Israel 1991

Man is the source of all authority
Yours is not to ask or understand
Man possesses wisdom like a deity
He signals with a gesture of His hand

Look to Him and wait for His command

Man is as tall as He's attractive
There's no finer place than at His side
Man stands, like a statue, strong and mighty
Dressed in garments fashioned from cowhide

Wear His collar round your neck with pride

Man likes loyalty
Man enjoys that you obey
Man knows when it's time to eat
Or go outside
Man is your master, feeder
Alpha leader, number one
All that you could ever dream of Man will provide

Pride is walking next to Man in public
Happiness is resting at His feet
Man sometimes hangs back in open spaces
That's when you should guide Him on His lead

He brings little bags and hoards your sh*t

Man's security
Never should be compromised
Stay alert to risks and threats
From the outside
Man must have constant guarding
Home and garden
Day and night
Enemies go sling your hooks! Intruders take flight!


Man expends much time upon His haircut
Though of hair He's blessed with almost none
Man sometimes confers with other primates
And they don't call Him Master but Alain
("Hi, Alain!")

That's except the ones He's met online

Man's humility
Makes him such a perfect guy
Man is all the things you love
Man smells of manly odours
Whiskey sodas
Sweat and grime
On a scale from one to ten
He'd score ninety-nine
Man is a hairy chest
A muscle-vest
Your B.F.F.
You will never leave His side
What's that?
He stepped outside?...

"WHERE'S MAN??!!!"

He's back again!
Welcome home dear long-lost friend!
Jump for joy!
How great it feels
To be alive!
Man is your fine, upstanding
Boss and guide
When a tummy's to be tickled
He will oblige

He's your action hero
Idol, Pharaoh
Lord and King
He is homo sapiens


You're canine!