Leaky Tap

Based on Greece 2024
Marina Satti — Zari

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap

Tried to make it safe, this is scary
Buckets should have held, it’s a mystery
Cannot call it mould, more a house soup
Kayaking in fear with my poor doormat

Wiped out all the food in my pantry
Left unrescued, bobbing, a strawberry
Most don't even float, it’s all wet goo
Close to sea-sick here, I’m gonna…

*Dry heaves violently*
Bleurgh
Right, it’s simply do or die here
Saw this thing showing how to on Vimeo
You need a hammer, a screwdriver, or just possibly a saw?
No more leaky faucet and get back to before.

Now every bloody room is a gigantic bathtub!
My big Monstera plant is no more
My hamster’s using leaves as a rescue raft
I should have been wary the minute it went

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap-tap

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap

Guess that pipe right here wasn’t the right thing to..

tap, tap, tap-tap, tap, tap

Water’s rising way too quickly..

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap

It’s getting really scary, so much flow from that..

splash, splash, splash-splash, splash, splash

I did try the plumber but all I’m getting is:

“Emergency hotline, I’m sorry. You’re caller on the telephone:
99”
“My sink’s about to explode!”
That bitch of a plumber really doesn’t care at all!
Fuck me, now she hangs up!?
In a last resort, told myself that
With gaffer tape it will have to do for now
Guess what happened the minute I tried to do that

splash, splash, splash, splash, splash-splash

Oh golly, the madness, I’m trapped in this damp inferno
Drama, so awful, a flood fit for a Bible
Water is rising, apocalypse from my damn sink
And what’s this weird noise, oh… it’s coming from the loo?

splash, splash, splash, splash, splash, splash

Vast amounts of faeces pouring out of the..

splash, splash, splash-splash, splash, splash

It’s all so unsanitary..

splat, splat, splat, splat, splat, splat

Tons of turds parasailing, diarrhoea attack

splat, splat, splat-splat, splat, splat

My house sank like the Titanic

Forty-eight hours since my quandary
Now there’s an ocean in my city
Neighbours gathering up on their roofs
Wave and shout at me as I float away

I can’t even tell where I’m heading
I’m hearing men chant, am I dreaming?
Now I’m seeing things… is that an actual souk?
I seriously fear that I’ve lost my mind...

Oh god, oh god, oh god, have I floated to Istanbul?..

*A snake charmer floats away atop a weaved basket as terrified merchants try to stay afloat. The water level rises to a gigantic wave that engulfs everything around her*

gush, gush, gush, gush, gush, gush

DIY tsunami but I still hear my

gush, gush, gush-gush, gush, gush

No one left around to save me...

Hey! Oh hey lady! don’t drift away!
I’m going to die at sea, all alone on my raft
Aim to swim this way! Oh..

Help me

You’re too far away! Hey! Hurry Hurry!
For you we’ll pray Please lord save me!
She’s drowned anyway I can’t feel my legs...

At least now I’m dead, no more tap trauma.