First World Problems

Based on France 2015
Lisa Angell — N'oubliez pas

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
This dug-out trench
Is disgusting

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
The Germans shelled my cup noodles at lunch

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
The smell of death fills the air
Limbs left everywhere
And there aren’t enough plugs

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
I watched my friend get dismembered
As there was nothing else better to watch

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
This is a terrible zoo
Was just some archduke
I thought they had an arch duck

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
World War, one star
Sub tour sub-par

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Why can’t we be Slovakoczechia?

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
World War, one star
Found hole in tsar

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Caught TB
Avoid Best Western Front

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
My Pickelhaube seems very small

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
One of our olives was someone’s left ball

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
I tripped on a small cross
Bad idea to plant lots
They should have just built one big one

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
World War, one star
Rubbish death march

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Trench was wet
My boots got caked in mud

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Got lost in poppy maze

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Bayonet was too sharp

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Actors all look the same
Can’t tell king/tsar apart

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Soldiers landing on beach
Ran right through my sandcastle

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
I don’t like mustard smell

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Tank got stuck in carpark

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Would you turn down those drums?
Kids are trying to sleep!

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Best to skip World War 1
And just watch 2 and 3

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Battle language was coarse

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
All instructions in Morse

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
THE WORST BUILDERS IN YPRES
HOUSE LOOKS LIKE IT’S BEEN BOMBED

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Not worth the Deutschmarks