Based on Luxembourg 1978
Baccara — Parlez-vous français ?
María and Mayte are enjoying their summer holiday. Lunchtime is approaching and Mayte knows that María gets hangry and can’t make decisions. Hence, Mayte has prepared accordingly. As they head towards the restaurant carefully preselected by Mayte, María is losing her patience…
Now, let’s move Mayte!
Come on and let’s get some food, some ribs or pasta?
Hm… (smiles) Or a crêpe, María?
You know more!
Wrong.
Did you go behind my back again and make a plan?
Hm… We’ll find food, don’t you fear. (walks to preselected restaurant)
Let’s go there maybe and see!
Herring with some salsa?
A pot pie with kiwi?
Bird curry?
Please hurry!
Don’t worry
I worry!
Come along, just be strong
The right bar seems (moping sounds from María) rather far, right?
Obscurely tucked away...
Let’s walk more
No, not more!
Or this joint? (points at preselected restaurant)
Yes, this joint!
True, this place may be where we belong
Let’s do a BBQ buffet
They serve fondue, chicken satay
A charming young waiter leads us to a table
He says his name is Carl-Hortense
Here at the BBQ buffet
We can eat like it’s Boxing Day
Just ignore the staring, no need for despairing
As we race through what’s on display
Check out that waiter, hmm, cute yet commanding
Carl-Hortense, for you I’m longing! (evil glares exchanged)
You’re a con
You’re too slow
You’re so gone
You’re a hoe
We just can’t get enough of his meat
Inside this BBQ buffet
A threat with abs has come our way
We don’t want to share him so now we’re declaring:
Who eats most food gets his sorbet
Let’s play!
María and Mayte are destroying their BBQ buffet, devouring all possible body parts of animals considered edible. Their two-hour time limit is approaching, and Mayte knows that María gets insane and can’t control herself. Hence, Mayte secretly knows she’ll win. As they are stuffing themselves, María is losing her will to live. But then they observe their hunky waiter leaving the restaurant holding hands with another man…
Carl-Hortense…
Are you still okay?
(whimpers)
We were such fools, all led astray
(whimpers, followed by melodic vomiting sounds)
Grab all your belongings, don’t want to prolong this
I don’t feel wanted and it hurts
Nothing left to say
We feel distressed beyond the pale
We try not to care but lunch has been digested
Let’s do a… Mexican buffet?