Based on Giorgi Pruidze — Me mjera (Georgia NF 2019)
Every day this week so far, there’s
been this “straight” guy at the bar.
Making small talk as he sits there,
thirsty bitch gives me the eye.
Bro, I know where this is going…
HIM: “Got a girl?” (I shake my head.)
HIM: “Guess you’re gay, then. Am I right?
Must be easy finding men
in this city. What’s your type?”
ME: “Men in general.”
HIM: “You’ve no preference at all?”
ME: “Men in general.”
HIM: “Fat, thin, short-ass or tall?”
ME: “Men in general.”
HIM: “Come on, man, not *all*
men in general?”
ME: “Men in general.”
Tilts his head, and then he’s smiling.
Manspread on his seat, he asks
what I think of what he’s packing,
winks, then flashes me his abs.
*Shrug* I check how long is left
till my break at half past nine.
“You for real, man?” straighty says.
HIM: “Girls love this! So what d’you like?”
ME: “Men in general.”
HIM: “What, like, my build, or small?”
ME: “Men in general.”
HIM: “Top or bottom, or both?”
ME: “Men in general.”
HIM: “Come on, man, you must --”
ME: “Men in general.”
HIM: “Men in gener-”
“Bro,” I stop him. “Restrooms, in ten.”
SOON: Oh! Aah! Ooh!! Aaah!! Oh, oh!!! Aaaah!!!
Cishet men are all, “Hell yeah, bros before hoes!”
They’re not gay, of course -- homies but no homo
-- till they’re in that stall,
up against the wall,
with you in their hole.