Based on Netherlands 1964

I feel so aggrieved
About how I'm perceived
How I'm regarded
It brings me frustration

It's not all my fault
That I'm sat on the shelf
That I get no touch
Unloved and unwanted

Physique, don't make a man
Sure I like my scran
And I've no workout regimen

If told all that cheese
Would stop me being squeezed
I'd not have started
To eat all my feelings

Aye, I may be substantial
Just means there's more to love
While I'm far from petite
My heavy heart adds on the pounds

It's not just my weight
That seems to irritate
The way I'm acting
You may call it 'flaming'

The men I have met
Called me effeminate
I tell them please gurl
Straight acting's self-hatred

But wait, there's more to come
Mum's from Vietnam
My father Indonesian

They think that this means
Shortcomings in my genes
But I am gifted
Don't know what they're missing

< self-pity waltz >

But wait, I've a match
Yass someone wants my snatch
I'm so excited
Just wait while I sign in

Oh no, I must block him