The Wank Bank Robbery

Based on Albania 2004

Can’t concentrate on my spreadsheets with all your messages on Grindr
I’d rather look at your dick pics than spend all morning crunching numbers

Sat at my desk, I’m sporting a boner
Hours till lunch, need a break now
Could fake some tears @ death of grandma
’Cept that she’s died three times this month

I know I’m out of line
Your pics so clear in my mind
Can’t focus on the screen
Just watching the clock till I can pee

Loo break for me! Five minutes maybe
Need quick relief – my balls are blue
Click on your name, bulging like crazy…
Nothing to see but “Image removed”
Are you for real? I’m fit to burst here
And you delete my dreams of you!
Drives me insane! And who could blame me?
Can’t beat the meat to memories of nudes

(Are you for real? I’m fit to burst here and you delete…?!)

I’m pissed! Still hard, no time
I must unload or I’ll die
No joy from Grindr… Think!
Hot dick pics… I know! My Tumblr feed!

I haven’t been on here in ages
There’s got to be so much that’s new!
Wank break is saved, yay! No more waiting
Hang on, what’s this? Says “There’s nothing here”
Well, no big deal – there’s other pages
Bookmarks… Let’s see… But it’s gone too!
They’re all the same! Makes masturbating
harder than me. Now what do I do?

(Well then, let’s see) Let’s Google Chingiz… Yeah!
(Insta-friendly) Top half is nude
(In every pic) Guess that will do

I know it’s not ideal, but needs – they must, alright?
A hirsute Azeri will get me ’cross the line